Only the night respected her.
The sun never understood her, but wanted her anyway…
Only the night respected her.
The sun never understood her, but wanted her anyway…
So, it was awkward.
Well maybe awkward doesn’t completely describe the entire experience, but it sure did start out that way.
For one, it began rather quickly. Hugging, kissing and then Connie was on her back with Nathan’s face between her thighs. Tasting and sucking until she was gasping for breath. She didn’t know how to respond! No idea how to touch him! So she closed her eyes and writhed beneath his mastery.
But let’s back up…
When Nathan undressed and revealed a toned, muscular body, Connie panicked. She wasn’t obese, but she was definitely not a small woman. With thick thighs, round hips and a four liter instead of a six-pack. She considered herself chubby. The way she dressed hid many flaws in her figure. While highlighting the positive attributes.
But when you’re naked and your stretch marks are showing, it could get in your head.
It got in Connie’s head.
She couldn’t relax. He looked at her and said he didn’t see anything wrong. But he wasn’t wearing his glasses, so how well could she trust his visual judgement?
Without 20/20 vision, he laid her down, kissed her all over and made love to her. It was intense, beautiful. She explored his gorgeous body with her hands. All she wanted to do was please him…
No turning back now.
His lips were soft and sweet.
To be honest, I didn’t have to kiss him. He didn’t even initiate it!
When we met, we talked. I tried to convince him, and myself, that this was a horrible idea. That I was more than physically attracted to him. I was certain I had sound reasoning.
But he didn’t care.
He said he felt more than physical attraction towards me as well.
Curses! Why did I have to fit so well with a man that wasn’t even my husband? And why was he also held to the whims of his not so fleeting emotions?
Yeah, I said curses.
Nothing good could come out of our selfish desire to be together. Maybe really passionate sex, but nothing else!
I explained that his very presence felt like home to me. Safe. I felt safe and vulnerable. When he’s near me I blush. I freaking blush! These bronze hues of my flesh turn red! It’s hard for me to put a sensible, coherent thought together.
And all I wanted to do was touch his lips with my own.
He didn’t ask for a kiss.
I just couldn’t leave his space one more time without caressing his lips with mine.
So I told him, “Com’ere”, leaned forward and kissed him. And it was sweet. And it was soft. And it wasn’t nearly enough.
Cupping his face, I closed my eyes and thought about how far I was willing to take this. Emotions were over-riding every logical thought I had. The only thing I wanted was to feel connected to him. To fall into him and let him catch me.
He said he would catch me.
Did he mean that? What would that mean for us? How long could this thing we had going last? We couldn’t have happily ever after. We were both unhappily married.
There was no future.
Only this moment that surely wouldn’t last long.
Maybe if I had one night with him. One moment of surrender. Maybe that would quell the desire and longing in both of us.
Or maybe it would be a beautiful mess worth making…
Connie agreed to meet him.
After several intimate conversations with Nathan, she agreed to meet him, briefly. Her body anticipated seeing him again. That familiar ache between her thighs for a touch she hadn’t even felt yet. The way her heart pounded in her chest with just a thought of him!
What a treacherous body.
From everything he said she came to the conclusion that for Nathan this was just a physical attraction. Mildly disappointed, she decided to convince herself of why they can’t act on their feelings.
Of course there was the obvious…
They were both married. Cheating on your spouses was morally bad and just an awful thing to do.
Then the not so obvious…
He didn’t know she was falling for him. That complicated an already complicated, emotional mess. Sex would never be enough. She didn’t want to scratch an itch. Which seemed was all he wanted.
What she wanted was connection. Emotional intimacy. To know him . To be his.
Clearly that couldn’t happen. When she saw him, she would tell him as much. They couldn’t have an affair. It would hurt their families.
It wasn’t worth it. She would convince him of that. He would understand.
Their lips need never touch. Never start a conflagration their bodies wouldn’t be able to contain. The desire to please him with every part of her body was strong though. She was constantly thinking about making love to him!
But if she did, what would happen to her heart?
The stars were not aligned for them.
When Nathan and Connie finally spoke, he confessed that he did want to kiss her all over her body. His exact words were “I want to kiss you between your thighs.”
While he was straight forward, shamelessly, it didn’t change how felt. She wanted him to kiss her between her thighs!
And it was wrong.
She was married.
He was married.
They couldn’t do this. No matter how much she wanted to be with him, they just couldn’t!
But the real problem wasn’t the sexual attraction. If it was simply that, she would have sex with her husband while fantasizing about Nathan.
This was deeper.
She was attracted to him as a person. She wanted to get to know him. Everything about him. What made him happy. What made him sad. What were his dreams. His goals.
She didn’t do casual sex. Her feelings were always involved. And she couldn’t give him her body without giving him part of her heart.
Connie could feel Nathan deep inside of her, stroking slowly as his mouth kissed hot trails up her neck to her ear. She arched against him, moaning as she gave everything she was to him.
His hand moved up the side of her waist, stimulating all her nerve endings to burn with desire. She wrapped her arms around him, losing herself and not even caring.
“I want to taste you,” he whispered huskily in her ear.
But she didn’t want him to leave her body! He felt so good!
“No! Stay inside of me.”
He chuckled. “I’ll put it back inside of you. I promise. But right now I want to taste you.”
She couldn’t deny him anything!
He took his time pulling out of her. Then moved down the length of her body, kissing every inch as he did. Finally, he settled between her thighs.
She felt the tip of his tongue flicker over that sensitive bud. Moaning, she tried to steady her hips. The last thing she wanted to do was disrupt his rhythm.
Moaning, he licked her with the flat of his tongue. She cried out his name. Her body felt completely raw with pleasure!
“I haven’t even gotten started,” he said.
Connie sat up in bed, gasping. That dream was too real!
The show was a success. Easy money. Now they were getting ready to return home.
It was late. Connie and Nathan were the first ones in the van, taking their seats in the back. She was glad they were alone. There had been some close interactions. She playfully sung Lisa Stansfield’s “All Around The World” to him. And he looked at her with approval.
Approval she wanted from him.
So now they were alone. Intimate as it was, simply because she wanted him to make a move, he remained a gentleman.
Kiss me. Please kiss me, Connie thought.
But he didn’t. Evidently he didn’t have Professor X’s ability to read minds. She wanted him to caress her face and pull her mouth to his. Wanted him to act on what she felt.
Which was wrong and selfish.
They were both married. She shouldn’t be having such strong feeling for someone who wasn’t her husband. No matter how tepid or unsatisfactory her marriage was, she was still someone’s wife.
Quietly, he sat beside her, letting her listen to one of his favorite songs. It gave her reason to sit even closer to him so she could share his ear buds.
Just sitting near him made her feel safe. Like this is where she should have been to begin with.
The rest of the band got back in the van and they headed home. She felt like the moment had been missed. There was no way she could kiss him now.
The driver made a sudden move and she fell against him. Jokingly he said he was scared.
“Give me your hand. I’ll protect you,” Connie told him, smiling.
And he did.
She took his large hand in hers and held it tight. Instantly she felt her heart swell. “The Point of It All” by Anthony Hamilton came on the radio. His thumb slowly caressed her hand.
Did he feel it too?
Connie wasn’t trying to be obvious, but she couldn’t help glancing at Nathan. They were in the back seat of the rented van, headed to a show they had both been contracted to play in. He tickled the ivories and she played the drums.
He was too easy on the eyes with his chocolate, bald head and goat-tee that framed very luscious, full lips. The things she wanted to do to those lips. Nibble, suck. Trace them slowly with the tip of her tongue.
Yeah. That would be nice.
She loved how playful his deep, brown eyes looked when they conversed about the animal and insect kingdom. She showed him a video of praying mantis dancing on Facebook. He laughed. Said she was crazy. And she loved every moment of it.
Every time he leaned in close to speak in her ear because the music was loud. Or the van made a sudden move and they were thrown against each other, she loved it.
Loved feeling the warmth of his body. The toned muscles of his arm and thigh.
And he smelled so good.
When they touched, she imagined him holding her in his arms. Did he even want to hold her? She couldn’t really tell. But there was something in the way he looked at her…
So Lasha came to the United States when she was just twenty. She was all about saving people and fighting for their equality and basic human rights. She had a lot to offer the world! She was smart and ambitious and focused. She was so focused that she couldn’t see anything but her goals. She had a purpose that wouldn’t be derailed. At all. By any means.
Which isn’t always a bad thing…
Her father was Russian and her mother was Ethiopian. Her background was so diverse she believed she was more than equipped to handle social injustices that were happening in the land of the free. Let’s be real, it was 1949. Free was subject to extreme interpretations. She was not discouraged though. With all the issues stacked against her, racism, language barrier and cultural differences just to name a few, her confidence was so high nothing could touch it!
Now, Lasha was determined to fight the good fight. She was prepared for the battle at hand. She actually reveled in it. It made her feel powerful!
She wasn’t prepared for the handsome, older man that happened to intervene during a fight she was in, and losing, one night while she was tending to the well being of the people. In all honesty, she didn’t like being rescued or depending on anyone for help. With her abilities she should be more than capable of handling herself in a fight. But here this man was saving her as is if she was a damsel in distress! Uh-unh. No. Nope. That couldn’t happen.
Class, that’s what he called himself, would not let her assert her strong independent self. He carried her in his arms and tended to her injuries and smiled at her in a way they made her warm in places that she couldn’t cool. He seemed to know the lustful affect he was having. Enjoyed that she needed and wanted him. And she resented him for it. He was into some sketchy business himself. Things she wanted to put an end to. And she would! That was a promise she made to herself.
But even though she tried to resist those nagging emotions, her attraction to him just continued to grow! Unbelievable! Of all the things that could distracted her from her great purpose in life, did it have to be a man?
The Disciples by Krystle Nyte