Tag: Literature

So, it was awkward.

Well maybe awkward doesn’t completely describe the entire experience, but it sure did start out that way.

For one, it began rather quickly. Hugging, kissing and then Connie was on her back with Nathan’s face between her thighs. Tasting and sucking until she was gasping for breath. She didn’t know how to respond! No idea how to touch him! So she closed her eyes and writhed beneath his mastery.

But let’s back up…

When Nathan undressed and revealed a toned, muscular body, Connie panicked. She wasn’t obese, but she was definitely not a small woman. With thick thighs, round hips and a four liter instead of a six-pack. She considered herself chubby. The way she dressed hid many flaws in her figure. While highlighting the positive attributes.

But when you’re naked and your stretch marks are showing, it could get in your head.

It got in Connie’s head.

She couldn’t relax. He looked at her and said he didn’t see anything wrong. But he wasn’t wearing his glasses, so how well could she trust his visual judgement?

Without 20/20 vision, he laid her down, kissed her all over and made love to her. It was intense, beautiful. She explored his gorgeous body with her hands. All she wanted to do was please him…

No turning back now.

His lips were soft and sweet.

To be honest, I didn’t have to kiss him. He didn’t even initiate it!

When we met, we talked. I tried to convince him, and myself, that this was a horrible idea. That I was more than physically attracted to him. I was certain I had sound reasoning.

But he didn’t care.

He said he felt more than physical attraction towards me as well.

Curses! Why did I have to fit so well with a man that wasn’t even my husband? And why was he also held to the whims of his not so fleeting emotions?

Yeah, I said curses.

Nothing good could come out of our selfish desire to be together. Maybe really passionate sex, but nothing else!

I explained that his very presence felt like home to me. Safe. I felt safe and vulnerable. When he’s near me I blush. I freaking blush! These bronze hues of my flesh turn red! It’s hard for me to put a sensible, coherent thought together.

And all I wanted to do was touch his lips with my own.

He didn’t ask for a kiss.

I just couldn’t leave his space one more time without caressing his lips with mine.

So I told him, “Com’ere”, leaned forward and kissed him. And it was sweet. And it was soft. And it wasn’t nearly enough.

Cupping his face, I closed my eyes and thought about how far I was willing to take this. Emotions were over-riding every logical thought I had. The only thing I wanted was to feel connected to him. To fall into him and let him catch me.

He said he would catch me.

Did he mean that? What would that mean for us? How long could this thing we had going last? We couldn’t have happily ever after. We were both unhappily married.

There was no future.

Only this moment that surely wouldn’t last long.

Maybe if I had one night with him. One moment of surrender. Maybe that would quell the desire and longing in both of us.

Or maybe it would be a beautiful mess worth making…

 

 

Connie agreed to meet him.

After several intimate conversations with Nathan, she agreed to meet him, briefly. Her body anticipated seeing him again. That familiar ache between her thighs for a touch she hadn’t even felt yet. The way her heart pounded in her chest with just a thought of him!

What a treacherous body.

From everything he said she came to the conclusion that for Nathan this was just a physical attraction. Mildly disappointed, she decided to convince herself of why they can’t act on their feelings.

Of course there was the obvious…

They were both married. Cheating on your spouses was morally bad and just an awful thing to do.

Then the not so obvious…

He didn’t know she was falling for him. That complicated an already complicated, emotional mess. Sex would never be enough. She didn’t want to scratch an itch. Which seemed was all he wanted.

No.

What she wanted was connection. Emotional intimacy. To know him . To be his.

Clearly that couldn’t happen. When she saw him, she would tell him as much. They couldn’t have an affair. It would hurt their families.

It wasn’t worth it. She would convince him of that. He would understand.

Their lips need never touch. Never start a conflagration their bodies wouldn’t be able to contain. The desire to please him with every part of her body was strong though. She was constantly thinking about making love to him!

But if she did, what would happen to her heart?

The stars were not aligned for them.

When Nathan and Connie finally spoke, he confessed that he did want to kiss her all over her body. His exact words were “I want to kiss you between your thighs.”

While he was straight forward, shamelessly, it didn’t change how felt. She wanted him to kiss her between her thighs!

And it was wrong.

She was married.

He was married.

They couldn’t do this. No matter how much she wanted to be with him, they just couldn’t!

But the real problem wasn’t the sexual attraction. If it was simply that, she would have sex with her husband while fantasizing about Nathan.

No.

This was deeper.

She was attracted to him as a person. She wanted to get to know him. Everything about him. What made him happy. What made him sad. What were his dreams. His goals.

She didn’t do casual sex. Her feelings were always involved. And she couldn’t give him her body without giving him part of her heart.