Eclectic Entrepreneur
It never occurred to me, that when I arrived at this point in my life, I would consider a career change. My thought was, why should I? I love what I do?
But what happens when what you love becomes taxing on your body?🤔
I have to rethink my whole exit plan now. And I wasn’t prepared for that this soon.
Such is life I suppose.
The first few years of my forties has been an emotional war with a blood covered battlefield. It has been one knock down drag out fight after another. To say it’s been rough is an understatement.
However, I’m still around.
One thing I thought, was that I’d be established relationship wise. I had imagined that by my forties I would be coasting in that area. Traveling with my love. Exploring each other and new things. Just having fun honestly. But what I am learning is, I live vicariously through others very well. And that I am adapting to a new idea of who I am. I’m not sure if I like it yet though. We shall see.
What did you think you would be or have by the time you got to the forty club? And has it happened?
Love not lies! I want the OTHER four letter word!
I was ready, expecting not to trust men for a while. But it’s the not being able to trust myself that’s got me blindsided.
I’ve never experienced this aspect before. It’s alarming.
I thought about something funny you said and smiled. Then chastised myself for smiling at the tormentor’s joke.
Now my heart feels betrayed for twenty-four hours.
Staring in the mirror, very slowly picking me apart…
Thanks Stevie Wonder.
I cry a lot. But not after 8am or before 11pm.
I bounce between wanting to forgive and love you, and ripping your trachea out so you can’t lie to me anymore.
What will make me feel better though?
I’ve read your words repeatedly. They helped me, comforted me.
Now even your actions show that trust is a fools weakness and a liars tool.
The way you laughed, your smile… Even the way you ate, used to give me little moments of joy.
Now watching you choke as I feed you well packaged lies and poisonous pasta, warms my heart immensely.
Ebony Mystique 