The further I step into my 40’s, the more I feel at peace with solitude. And I’m not sure if that’s healthy or a coping mechanism for disappointment.
Either way, I’m here now. And it feels like being outside of myself in another reality.
Tag: heartbreak
“Change Maybe?” ~ Let’s Talk About It
It never occurred to me, that when I arrived at this point in my life, I would consider a career change. My thought was, why should I? I love what I do?
But what happens when what you love becomes taxing on your body?🤔
I have to rethink my whole exit plan now. And I wasn’t prepared for that this soon.
Such is life I suppose.
“Blindsided” ~ Healing…
I was ready, expecting not to trust men for a while. But it’s the not being able to trust myself that’s got me blindsided.
I’ve never experienced this aspect before. It’s alarming.
“Betrayal” ~ Healing…
I thought about something funny you said and smiled. Then chastised myself for smiling at the tormentor’s joke.
Now my heart feels betrayed for twenty-four hours.
“Broken Reflection”~ Healing…
Staring in the mirror, very slowly picking me apart…
Thanks Stevie Wonder.
“Step 1” ~ Healing…
I cry a lot. But not after 8am or before 11pm.
“Feeling Better” ~ Snapped…
I bounce between wanting to forgive and love you, and ripping your trachea out so you can’t lie to me anymore.
What will make me feel better though?
“The Little Things” ~ Snapped…
The way you laughed, your smile… Even the way you ate, used to give me little moments of joy.
Now watching you choke as I feed you well packaged lies and poisonous pasta, warms my heart immensely.
“Snapped” ~ The Afterthoughts…
After everything, this is where I ended up? A shell? A weaker version of my greatness? A teary eyed doe in the headlights of a truck that will not stop?
For what?
A touch? A left over smile that wasn’t meant for me to begin with? Crumbs?
Am I no better than crumbs? Than lies so easily whispered in the throws of passion? Than the consolation prize?
I see. And you will see too. But when you do, you will have no idea what you’re looking at. And then you will be me.
I should have just eaten the cake…
“Oddly Connected” ~ The Afterthoughts…
I miss you and we’re not even friends! Just two hearts bound by heartbreak. I wonder if you’re well.
I’m rooting for your happiness.
This is so weird.
How have your been?
Ebony Mystique 