Love not lies! I want the OTHER four letter word!
I was ready, expecting not to trust men for a while. But it’s the not being able to trust myself that’s got me blindsided.
I’ve never experienced this aspect before. It’s alarming.
I thought about something funny you said and smiled. Then chastised myself for smiling at the tormentor’s joke.
Now my heart feels betrayed for twenty-four hours.
Staring in the mirror, very slowly picking me apart…
Thanks Stevie Wonder.
I cry a lot. But not after 8am or before 11pm.
I bounce between wanting to forgive and love you, and ripping your trachea out so you can’t lie to me anymore.
What will make me feel better though?
I’ve read your words repeatedly. They helped me, comforted me.
Now even your actions show that trust is a fools weakness and a liars tool.
The way you laughed, your smile… Even the way you ate, used to give me little moments of joy.
Now watching you choke as I feed you well packaged lies and poisonous pasta, warms my heart immensely.
There had to be punishment.
One could not simply do what you did and go unscathed. No. There had to be retribution. And I’m here for it. Despite what has been said, revenge is definitely best served warm with tea. Maybe even a hearty meal.
But it must be served. In a manner so subtly perfect, that you won’t even realize it is being served at all. You’ll just feel the discomfort without knowing why. It will make you torn from within. Distraught and anguished.
I can’t wait to get started.
After everything, this is where I ended up? A shell? A weaker version of my greatness? A teary eyed doe in the headlights of a truck that will not stop?
A touch? A left over smile that wasn’t meant for me to begin with? Crumbs?
Am I no better than crumbs? Than lies so easily whispered in the throws of passion? Than the consolation prize?
I see. And you will see too. But when you do, you will have no idea what you’re looking at. And then you will be me.
I should have just eaten the cake…