Life, Stories

“I’ll Stop The World And Melt With You…” The Forbidden Saga

Connie wasn’t trying to be obvious, but she couldn’t help glancing at Nathan. They were in the back seat of the rented van, headed to a show they had both been contracted to play in. He tickled the ivories and she played the drums.

He was too easy on the eyes with his chocolate, bald head and goat-tee that framed very luscious, full lips. The things she wanted to do to those lips. Nibble, suck. Trace them slowly with the tip of her tongue.

Yeah. That would be nice.

She loved how playful his deep, brown eyes looked when they conversed about the animal and insect kingdom. She showed him a video of praying mantis dancing on Facebook. He laughed. Said she was crazy. And she loved every moment of it.

Every time he leaned in close to speak in her ear because the music was loud. Or the van made a sudden move and they were thrown against each other, she loved it.

Loved feeling the warmth of his body. The toned muscles of his arm and thigh.

And he smelled so good.

When they touched, she imagined him holding her in his arms. Did he even want to hold her? She couldn’t really tell. But there was something in the way he looked at her…

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Life

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Life, ministry

A Weary Soul

My spirit is weary,
Yet, the grace of God continues to strengthen me.
I live in a society where, if I acknowledge the racism I’ve dealt with then I’m part of the problem because I am told “If you don’t talk about racism it’ll go away.”
I hear my friends say ” Martin Luther King would be rolling over in his grave if he could see what his people are doing.”
Apparently every black person who cries out against injustices needs to stop because slavery ended over a hundred years ago.
And that we need to worry about black on black crime, because clearly no other race commits crimes against each other in a high percentage, no wait, they do.
My spirit gets weary because I know I am judged by the stereotypes of my race before the content of my character. I know that’s how it is, but I’m not supposed to talk about those things, because if I don’t they’ll stop happening.
My flesh wants to rise up when I hear people say “I don’t see color or race.” Yes you do and that’s ok. Our cultural differences is not always a bad thing.
To dismiss what it’s like living in black/brown skin when you never have is insulting.
But this is why I can continue to love beyond the mess. Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

ministry

Finding the Balance

When I first became a youth minister I found that God was going to require more time from me and so were the children at my church, Sowing The Seeds Of Faith Ministries. The first thing I did was ask God if he was sure I had what it takes to be a minister. Even though I was already doing the work I had many doubts. My main one was, I don’t look or act like a minister. I’m not locked into traditions, I have tattoos and to some people’s dismay, I have dread locks.

Yes, I love Christ, working with the children, most of the time, and being a part of a congregation that worships with all their hearts, but I did not feel like I had arrived yet. And many elders looked at me the same way. They were so much more knowledgeable and had more experience and seemed to have all the time in the world to be ministers. Where as I was struggling to be the perfect mom and wife.

Yes, perfect.

I found that I could effectively schedule time to be in every place I was suppose to be, but life had a way a knocking me off the perfect path I had set for myself. My kids needed me outside of the allotted time scheduled for them. My husband wanted to invade the time I scheduled for the church. I stuck to my guns, I tried anyway, and that seemed to cause even more problems. Problems that when they arrived gave me cause to ask God “Are you sure you want me to minister? I can barely schedule my time.” Many nights I prayed that God would make me perfect for the job. I even cried about how bad of a wife and mother I was. Ministry was something that didn’t come easy to me. I felt like if I lacked in motherhood, how could I thrive as one of God’s teachers?

It was a very lonely feeling.

I remember one day when I was at a very low moment, depressed and discouraged, and I wanted to give up. I felt like it was too hard. Like I wasn’t strong enough. And then the song “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” came on and it was like Jesus was talking to me! “If you need me, call me. No matter where you are. No matter how far. Just call my name I’ll be there in a hurry. You don’t have to worry…”. My spirit was lifted almost instantly. I may not have been perfect, but I was chosen.

And then one day I sat down and wrote out everything it was that I did each day. From errands to family game nights. What I saw amazed me! No everything wasn’t done perfectly in the times I designated for them, but they were done! So my girls didn’t always have the best  and ironed clothes, they had quality time that they enjoyed. And my husband didn’t have to come home and worry about meals or chores, some how God had helped me accomplish everything I had written for my self to do.

It was a moment of enlightenment, that I realized that all that worry and stress was for nothing. I may not be the best at everything, but I’m pretty good at most of it.

Life, Novels, Stories, Uncategorized

Under the Influence of X-Ta-C

Under the Influence Of X-Ta-C is a collection of short stories and poems that I wrote in my early to mid-twenties. The title was inspired by my best friends. In high school we had a singing group called X-Ta-C. We were going to be the next TLC!

And En Vogue, SWV, Jade, etc.

The girls, who grew into awesome women, have been a constant in my life. Which means they have inspired some of the most ridiculous, random thoughts I’ve ever had. And I thank them for it!

One section of the book was co-witten by Ladye Dempals and it is pure silly madness that probably only makes sense to us. And that section was specifically written for my girls of X-Ta-C.

There’s a lot of emotions and themes through out the collection. Some can easily get lost. (Good thing they’re only short stories) In my early 20s I had a lot going on.

A lot. Going. On.

But if you love to laugh and sometimes cry, take a peek at this collection of short stories and poems.

You can find Under the Influence of X-Ta-C on lulu.com. Pen name Krystle Nyte.